


Someone could

by disjointed_scribblings



Category: Four Weddings and a Funeral (TV 2019)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, and that someone is her, someone could, yes okay i took this cute and funny ship and amped up the angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:47:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23437936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disjointed_scribblings/pseuds/disjointed_scribblings
Summary: Five times Gemma feels guilty about Caleb Duffy, and one time she just feels.
Relationships: Caleb Duffy/Gemma
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Someone could

**One.**

“Ainsley? Sorry I’m late, I brought Bohnanza!”

“Duffy! Come in!” Ainsley calls out, then leans near Gemma’s ear. “Bet you five pounds he’s wearing another dorky sweater.” 

The chardonnay-tinged whisper warms Gemma more than she can say. Gemma is being invited into an inside joke — one at the expense of Ainsley’s close friend. It’s Gemma’s sixth game night and she really is starting to feel like she’s a core part of Ainsley's group. 

“You’re on,” she whispers back. “I say his sweater is adequate but completely clashes with his shirt.” 

In Ainsley’s hall, Duffy unbuttons his coat, and — moment of truth — shrugs it off. Ainsley smacks Gemma’s leg as his outfit is revealed. 

A perfectly unremarkable orange sweater, paired with a bright purple checked shirt. Gemma holds out her hand for her winnings. 

Ainsley’s giggle turns into a squeal as she digs out the five-pound note. Gemma finds herself chuckling along, filled with sudden affection for Ainsley, and her friends, and everyone in this kind little corner of the world. It's probably the wine. 

“Hey, Ains! What’s so funny?” Duffy asks, face plastered with his usual goofy grin. 

“Inside joke,” Ainsley tells him. “Girl stuff. You wouldn’t get it.” 

Duffy shrugs and appears to accept this as Ainsley fetches him a drink. But Gemma immediately regrets laughing along. How many times has she been at the other end of this game, with titters hid behind well-bred hands when she enters the room? 

“Duffy, are you aware that your outfit doesn’t match?” she asks before she can help herself. She knows the words come out sharp, but maybe he needs a bit of sharpness. 

He has a startled expression at her voice, like he didn't expect her to speak at all. Like he didn't know she could speak. Like she’s Ainsley’s lapdog suddenly grown sentient. 

“Well. I am now. Aware. Thank you for sharing your sartorial expertise.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

They don’t speak for the rest of the evening. 

* * *

**Two.**

“Why does nobody believe that someone could love me?” 

Gemma doesn’t say, _The fact that you think the problem is you when it’s clearly Maya is exactly why it would never work between you and Maya._ She doesn’t say, _If what you care about is ‘someone’ loving you, you shouldn’t have chucked Tabby the second Maya cast half a glance in your direction._ She _certainly_ doesn't say, _Of course someone could love you, Duffy, do you really think you're unlovable?_

Instead she takes Maya’s letter from him and skims it. 

It’s immediately clear that this letter is not about Duffy. Not because it would be bizarre to write a letter and leave it for him to find when Maya could easily talk to him instead — that would indeed be bizarre, but Maya is self-centred and dramatic enough to do it anyway — but because Gemma has seen Duffy and Maya together, and the depth of emotion in this letter is totally unlike Maya’s attitude toward Duffy. 

For an aspiring novelist, Duffy doesn’t have the strongest grasp on the human relationships around him. 

“Sorry,” Gemma says, handing the letter back. “I think you’re seeing what you want to see.” 

He isn’t convinced then, but hours later, when she’s tired and annoyed and missing Quentin quite terribly, Duffy catches up to her on the red carpet looking utterly defeated. 

“You were right about the letter. Maya’s in love with somebody else.” 

She’s never felt so wretched at being told she’s right. 

“Oh.” 

She wants to know what finally got through to him, but she doesn’t want to ask. It must have been something truly horrific to leave him this devastated, this dejected. Whatever happened, whatever he said to Maya or she to him, it must have been before the speeches. It was painful to watch Duffy crumble like that, after all his anxious energy earlier in the evening. 

Maybe if Gemma was more severe earlier, crueler, she could have changed his mind, made him believe here — but no, Duffy is too stubborn for that, it would only have made him dig his heels deeper. She should maybe have been gentle but firm, explained her reasoning —

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she says. Inadequate words. She’s sorry this happened to him. She’s sorry she failed to let him down easy. She’s sorry that with Craig off to honeymoon and Ainsley firmly on Maya’s side, there’s no one to help him but Gemma. 

And she’s sorry that he leaves without wanting her help after all. 

* * *

**Three.**

“Third person plural perfect active indicative?” 

“Er… dixerunt?”

“Hey! Yeah, you got it buddy!” Duffy gives Giles a high five, then looks over his head at Gemma with one of his goofy grins. 

She’s been on the receiving end of such smiles more times than she can count, but somehow this feels different. His collar is crooked and his glasses are slipping down his nose and that one lock of hair is drooping over his forehead, partially obscuring his stupid facial expression, and… 

And suddenly she’s hot all over and butterflies have apparently colonized her stomach. 

Could it… could she possibly be attracted to Duffy? To goofy, geeky, naive, absent-minded, sometimes immature _Duffy_? To the man who only a few weeks ago, unwashed and under-rested, had actually cursed at her for daring to call out his poor behaviour? 

Gemma turns away and takes a deep breath. No, she couldn’t possibly be attracted to Duffy, of all people. That is ridiculous. _Duffy_ is ridiculous. A good man, but ridiculous. Then again, Quentin had his moments of ridiculousness —

Quentin. Dear lord. She forgot for a moment the main reason she couldn’t possibly be attracted to Duffy — she’s only been widowed a few short months and she’s still in love with her husband. 

She distracts herself from the unsettled feeling in her gut by going upstairs and looking at pictures of Quentin until she makes herself cry, and then she’s rude to Duffy the entire drive back to Peath. 

* * *

**Four.**

“Like this?” 

“More,” she whispers, and then gasps when his hand delves deeper inside. 

Who would have thought that behind the unfashionable clothing and overly enthusiastic demeanour, Duffy would be such a stevedore in bed? (Or rather, in the back seat of her car, since they’re still not “officially” doing this?) 

On second thought, maybe the enthusiasm was a sign. 

His long fingers find just the right spot then, and she loses the ability to hold a coherent thought. The whole world is reduced to his lips on her neck, his harsh breathing in her ear, his arm holding her in place on his lap, his other hand doing delicious things from where he’s plunged it down her slacks —

Gemma’s mind blanks as she orgasms, hard. 

She struggles to regain her breath and her bearings. That was — that was — 

“Wow,” Duffy’s saying when her mind starts working again. Of course it’s Duffy. Quentin’s fingers were never that talented. 

His arm is still around her, holding her close against his chest and still-hard —

Suddenly it’s all too much. Gasping for breath, she pushes at Duffy’s arm until he lets her go, then launches herself across the bench seat and cracks open the window 

“Gemma?” 

The cold air brings her back to herself, but she can’t turn around, not yet. 

“I’m sorry,” she says in the general direction of the window. “I wasn’t expecting — “

“No, I’m sorry, Gemma, I shouldn’t have —“

“No! No. Duffy, no. It’s just… the first time since…”

“Oh God, Gemma, I’m so sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize.” She exhales and turns back to face him. 

The streetlights reflect off Duffy’s glasses, making him look softer. 

She knows that Quentin wouldn’t have wanted her to dry up into a shrivelled crone. But knowing that doesn’t keep her from feeling, just a little, like this is cheating. 

“Gemma, we don’t have to do this again.” 

“No, I want to.” She does. Tonight was maybe too early, but she really does want him. “Just… slower, next time, maybe.” 

Duffy smiles gently and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“As slow as you want.”

* * *

**Five.**

Gemma stares at the ceiling and wills herself to sleep. Nothing works. She can’t stop thinking about Duffy, somewhere above the Atlantic Ocean, all alone, worrying about his mother. 

Or maybe he’s landed by now. She rolls over and checks her phone to see if she’s missed a text. 

Nothing. 

Lord, she’s a bad… girlfriend? Lover? They haven’t talked about what they are. Neither of those words feel right to Gemma. She’s barely stopped thinking of herself as a wife, has come to terms with the labels “widow” and “single parent” in a way she never expected she’d have to. 

Just another example about how she’s a bad… something… to Duffy. He’s never pushed her on it, he’s been totally willing to pretend for Giles when she asks. Duffy has been more than generous with her, and never asks for anything in return except the occasional ride somewhere. He didn’t even ask her to come to New Jersey with him, which she’d thought he might do. 

And what has Gemma done for him? Acted out because she was repressing her feelings. Forced him into all manner of awkward situations to keep their relationship secret from her son. Put on the brakes at almost every turn. She couldn’t even provide proper emotional support the one time he needed it. And now he’s going to be gone for God knows how long. 

She picks up her phone again. Maybe she should send him a supportive text for when he lands. 

But how can she be emotionally honest with Duffy while still holding herself back from tumbling headlong and irrevocably over the edge and into love? 

And how can she live with herself knowing that she's holding back from him, when he's never held anything back in his life? 

After five minutes of staring blankly at the empty text box, she gives up and drops the phone on the bed. 

She doesn’t deserve him, and she’s ashamed at how much relief she feels knowing that he doesn’t have the self-confidence to believe that himself. 

* * *

** And, one. **

A bucolic scene — the green grass, the blue sky, the bright sunshine, the laughter of children and barking of dogs. 

They have both, here. Giles and Harvey are cheerfully running circles around Mrs. Duffy, who looks pleased and energized by the company and the change of scene. 

Sitting next to Duffy, watching her son, Gemma feels peaceful. Relaxed. 

Being with Duffy feels like coming home. 

Maybe it is too soon, but she’s past caring. If there’s one thing she’s learned, it’s that you never know what surprises life has in store for you. You need to embrace what’s in front of you now. 

What’s in front of her now is Duffy, looking much smarter than he did when she first met him at one of Ainsley’s game nights. Partly Gemma’s influence, of course — he’s wearing a sweater that she bought him, and his purple-checked shirt which she had strongly suggested would go with the sweater. 

But the difference isn’t only sartorial. Duffy will never be the reserved, stiff-upper-lip type, but he’s grown up in the past year, come into his own. Not quite so naive or immature (although she wouldn’t put it past him to set tests in pig latin if he got his heart broken again). He’s open, and genuine, enthusiastic sometimes to a fault, generous and kind, and he has no idea how much that is worth. How much he’s worth. He still doesn’t believe any compliment she pays him, which is sometimes annoying but mostly very sweet. 

She loves him, and maybe it is too soon, but life is short and she wants to spend as much time as she can with him.

“I want to get married.” 

**Author's Note:**

> This ship seemed to come out of nowhere (although in rewatch it was foreshadowed a bit in the first episode) but it totally sucked me in. 
> 
> Why are there so few fics in this fandom???? Who will write the fic about how Gemma found out about Duffy's favourite book? Could someone please write an adorbs Fatima/Basheer fluff piece? Am I going to have to do it all myself?


End file.
